Let’s be frank: not every man is going to be able to crush his first date with a woman. There are just some guys out there who don’t have anything going on that gets a woman interested. Fortunately, there are a lot fewer of those guys than you might suspect, and a lot of guys really could crush it if they just understood what makes a woman tingle.
Don’t Be Superficial, But Pay Attention to Your Demeanor
According to Dr Gordon Patzer, author of Looks: Why They Matter More Than You Ever Imagined, women assess some basic physical things about you instantly upon meeting you, and they re-assess these things at the beginning of each date.
• Your stature (height, weight, and proportion of the two)
• Your hygiene (you don’t have to be Queer Eye, but you absolutely must be clean)
• Your smile (smile early and smile often)
• Your self-comfort (the more relaxed and humble you can be without being self-deprecating, the better you come off)
Anything you can do to improve these four elements will immediately put you further into the driver’s seat.
Make an Earnest Attempt to Engage at a Deeper Level
Women are, without a doubt, much more involved on a deeper level than your average man is — and if you want to hit a first date out of the park, you’re going to have to show her that you’re just as involved and in-depth as she is. That means:
• Be confident. This is often misinterpreted as “alpha male”-ness or “dominance”, but the truth is much simpler: a man that isn’t confident isn’t going to impress a girl, end of story. You don’t have to be macho or tough — a quiet competence is more attractive than a ‘bad boy’ attitude. Just stick to what you know without intimidating her.
• Be just a little classy. Too much class comes off as snooty and arrogant, but just a touch of class — being deliberately chivalrous (opening doors, pulling out chairs) goes a long way toward separating yourself from the unwashed masses. You can also show off a bit of class with physical goods. Showing up in a unique car, for example, can be a huge statement (even if you have to pick one up at a used car dealership; she doesn’t have to know it was only $450 after your trade-in!)
Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously
This is easily the number one date-killer. Show her that you can be funny by making light fun of yourself. If you do something awkward or clumsy, laugh it off. If she proves you wrong on something, be gracious and make it into a joke. Being able to accept that something went imperfectly with a sense of humor and a wave of the hand is absolutely key to crushing that first date — because something will go wrong. How you handle it is key.
Most men don’t realize how many of these “tinglers” are completely within their control. Figure out how to incorporate them into your personality, and you can crush almost any first date you go on.
